February is the month of love. As the temperatures drop outside, and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, things are heating up inside. In the spirit of self-love and making 2020 the best year possible, let’s take a look at five dating resolutions that will make this year’s relationships the healthiest yet:
1) Quit Ghosting
Chances are there’s been some level of “ghosting” in your love life. “Ghosting” happens when someone you’ve been talking to or dating suddenly cuts off all communication without warning.
There’s no indication as to why, no phone call to explain that their feelings have changed and no text to signal that they need some space. They just spookley disappear!
People ghost for many reasons and we shouldn’t make any assumptions, but being left high and dry still doesn’t feel great.
On average, 26% of women report that they have been ghosted while only 13% of males admit to ghosting on their partners. However, conversations with friends reveal much higher numbers, so someone isn’t being honest here! (see fig. 1)
Regardless, we all know it’s kinder not to leave the person we’ve been seeing hanging. It’s a no brainer that this type of behavior is toxic and when you know better, you should do better.
This year, send that text or make that call even if it’s uncomfortable and give the person you’ve been spending time with some clarity. Avoid sending people down the “what did I do wrong?” rabbit hole, and most importantly, be kind and treat others with respect.
2) Stop expecting perfection
So, you want him to be tall but not too tall, and you need her to be curvy but only in certain places? And what about their personality, they should be funny, smart, spontaneous and understanding, right?
Consider how your fantasy relationship is keeping you from finding real love and authentic connection.
We’ve got to let go of the idea that our perfect partner needs to check all the boxes. Sure, some things are non-negotiable, like mutual respect and kindness, but dismissing someone just because they aren’t “perfect” overlooks a crucial truth: You aren’t perfect either!
We all have our flaws, none of us are perfect and most of us have a complicated past. Instead of being critical of our partners, let’s be understanding and cultivate mutual growth in our relationships.
Establishing solid communication from day one can be essential to developing a strong lasting healthy relationship. We’re all going to mess up from time to time, so build a healthy communication system where your partner feels safe and comfortable voicing their feelings.
3) Let go of jealously
Do you ever have the urge to check your partners phone? Ever catch yourself feeling jealous or insecure when your partners out with friends and you’re not? Or, how about when they get a new good-looking follower on Instagram?
We all experience human emotions like jealously and insecurity – but it’s important to deal with them in a healthy way so that they don’t manifest into issues within our relationships and end up hurting our partners.
Perhaps you have some personal insecurities to work through, or maybe there’s some trauma from the past that needs to be dealt with. Regardless, being possessive or controlling in your relationship is a sure-fire way to cultivate toxic energy between you and your partner.
Instead, try to communicate with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling. A simple conversation may be all it takes for you to feel happier and more secure.
Working on yourself and personal wellness can be a great way to improve your relationship and let go of jealousy. Check out Optimal living summits 8 week online retreat, a program designed to help you find balance in all areas of your life including your relationship. (Put link here)
4) Trust your gut
You know yourself better than anyone else, so if something feels off or wrong, it probably is!
We’ve all met people who we thought were great, but as we started peeling back the layers we realized they were honestly kind of gross inside.
Pay attention to feelings that come up as you get to know someone. Feeling like you should “slow down” or take some space might be a sign that this person isn’t right for you.
Chat with trusted friends or family members if you’re feeling a weird vibe from someone in your love life. The important thing is to not ignore that gut feeling, it could be trying to protect you!
5) Value yourself
We all deserve a healthy relationship that makes us feel loved, cared for and supported. Value yourself and don’t settle for people who don’t value you!
So, what are some essential components of a healthy relationship?
A partner that is respectful of you and of themselves, a partner that communicates well and is willing to grow with you. Someone that you can trust, depend on and share your heart with.
It’s important to remember that healthy doesn’t always mean perfect.
Relationships are a constant work in progress, especially in today’s society where a simple swipe right can land most of us a date when we’re looking for a change.
Value yourself and don’t allow others to dim your light or as Drake puts it “Know yourself; Know your worth”.
We all deserve healthier relationships in 2020, and by following these five steps you can set yourself up for relationship success this year!
Keep the communication lines open, trust your gut and let go of the idea that your partner needs to be perfect.
Always value yourself and treat others with the type of respect you’d like to be treated with.
Remember none of us are perfect, but we all deserve healthy love!